bird flu, colin farrel and torettes

     I came home from an awful day at school this afternoon to have one of my neighborhood street kids tell me that the river near our block has Bird Flu. This kid, who looks like a three foot tall Colin Farrell, is usually crazy anyway so I laughed him off and proceeded to my apartment to drown my sorrows in a huge fried egg sandwich. I met another neighbor outside my block and she confirmed what the little Colin said; apparently she found a dead pigeon outside our block and she was waiting for someone to come from the Municipality to collect it.
     
     I don’t think we really have Bird Flu. I mean, we do have chickens. Lots of chickens. But Bird Flu? It would explain why the kids were so awful today. Even my 11th grade class was horrible. Granted I had them for their last period and I’m sure they were itching to leave but I had to stop several times to get them to calm down. Twelfth grade, the grade that could usually care less, I must say, were pretty good, considering. But 8th grade, oh 8th grade. I have come to the sneaking suspicion that some of the students a.) take crack before or during class, b.) have Tourette's Syndrome, c.) are possessed by the Prince of Darkness or d.) are Neanderthals. It’s a class of all guys. Once upon a time the class did have girls but I think they ate them or something. And today, they just couldn’t stay still or not talk. My new colleague was teaching them and I was in the back trying to discipline them but it was to no avail. I thought my colleague was gonna have a aneurysm which wouldn’t have been that bad because they would have just eaten her too. Near the end of class I thought I had lost a kid. I turned and Cvetozar wasn’t there. I didn’t remember letting any kids out but nonetheless he was gone. At first I was a little happy because I thought they had turned upon themselves and there would be a Ultimate Fighting Championship and I would only have to teach one student. But alas, I happened to turn my head and there he was… hiding in a cupboard in the back of class! This kid is tall too. Anyway, I turned back around and pretended I didn’t see him.

     I think this might have something to do with the nice, freakish weather we are having now. For the first time since November, I didn’t have to wear thermal underwear. Windows were opened. Kids migrated to the other side of the classroom instead of cramming to one side of the room, right next to radiator. And of course, I think once their brains unfroze so did their crazy centers. Oh well, I only have two classes tomorrow. Neither of them are with the cannibals.