that's president andy to you...

My brother told me something very interesting right before the 2000 election. In what was to turn out to be one of his most accurate statements ever, he said, "Andy, George Bush is just running for president to gain favors. He wants to be president just so he can make his friends rich, then when he finishes, all those people will owe him." Over the last 6 years, we have seen that repeatedly come true: the Administrations Energy Policy, the war in Iraq and Haliburton, the election of Katherine Harris, the fact that most of his cabinet members are millionaires. Now we learn that the No Child Left Behind Act- an Act that is hurting our most important resource of all- is also helping to launch the business of his brother! Nathan, I promise when I become president, I will make a cabinet position for you called "Department of Watching-Out-For-Selfish-@ssh*les." Maybe you can come up with a better name.

what the heck happened?

I’m no political scientist but I have a few ideas about the recent Bulgarian presidential election. The election was last Sunday and due to the low voter turnout, there will be a run-off election this coming Sunday. The two candidates in the run-off will be Georgi Parvanov (the incumbent and winner of the first election) and Volen Siderov (leader of the ultra-nationalist Ataka party). The fact that Parnanov won the election is unsurprising; the second place finish of an ultra-nationalist, however, is a bit alarming. I believe that the second place finish of this candidate speaks more about the current situation of Bulgaria than an overwhelming racist and xenophobic society. I think that people voted for Ataka for some of the following reasons:

1. Fed-up. I think that many Bulgarians are simply fed-up with the status quo. I believe that many Bulgarians are tired of having to work so hard to make ends meet. They are tired of seeing everyone’s wealth growing while theirs shrinks and shrinks. They see people around them, people they always assume to be mafia, getting rich, while they have barely enough money to keep warm in the winter. Remember, Bulgaria currently has an unemployment rate of 12% and 13% of the people are people are below the poverty line. In parliament, they claim that their politicians are arguing about what to do with the old king’s land and not much else. Ataka wants a drastic change in the government and the way the system works.
Ataka’s preoccupation with Bulgarian Roma is another example of being fed-up. They are making Roma into scapegoats for why things are wrong. They think that Roma are getting all the money from the government and international organizations that should rightfully go to “honest, hard-working Bulgarians” (I find this argument kind of hard to swallow, especially since Roma make up less than 5% of the population). This is very similar to the way racism works in the good ol’ US of A, and I assume most other places. People see others getting “handouts” and want a piece of the action.

2. Pride. Bulgarians are proud people. They are quick to tell a visitor about the beautiful Bulgarian Black Sea coast, mountains and women. They also readily tell anyone willing to listen that once upon a time, Bulgaria, Rome and Byzantium were the only empires in Europe. They also remind you that Bulgaria is one of a handful of countries to have sent a man into space and that the father of the founder of IBM was a Bulgarian. They are embarrassed of the current state of the country and the fact that people don’t pay attention to this small country. Ataka plays upon this pride, and reminds people that they should be proud of their country.

3. The good ol’ days. Many Bulgarians yearn for what they consider the good ol’ days. They remember the communist era when allegedly everyone had what they needed, everyone was employed and there was no risk of losing a job. Life was so much easier, they say. They also remember a mythical time when people worked the land, harvested all day and danced the horo all night long. I think in someway they want those times back, whether they really existed or not. I hate when analogies with Nazi Germany are tossed around, so I will use the more general fascist analogy. Fascists groups thrive on these kind of memories. They love to conjure the images of a pure, idyllic, innocent time full of pure, idyllic and innocent people (all belonging to one ethnicity, of course) and they use these images to hook people. Ataka not only plays on the hate of Roma, but also Turks. They regularly remind everyone that the Turks oppressed the Bulgarians for 500 years. Ataka is employing no different strategy than what has been successful for all the other fascist groups throughout the second half of the 20th century.

4. Anti-BSP. While some people are in love with the idea of the great communist era, they still can’t bring themselves to vote for the current socialist party, BSP. This is the party of the current president and leading party of the parliament. I know a couple people who refuse to vote in this election because they don’t want Ataka to lead the country but they can’t stand the thought of voting for “those communists.” For some people it is less conflicted, they hate the communists and will vote for Ataka to show them that hate. It is not surprising that Ataka started to rise at the same time that BSP did.

5. Anti-globalization. Some people are simply afraid of the upcoming EU accession and the current NATO membership. People are afraid of losing their national rights so soon after gaining them. Some of Ataka’s big issues are anti-privatization and keeping Bulgaria’s nuclear reactor open. They dislike EU’s calls to privatize such things as coal mines (a big deal in Bobov dol) and to shut down the reactor. They want to retain a certain amount of national independence and after so many years of oppression one can hardly blame them. People are also afraid of the unknown. They see some of the birthing pains that other ascending countries have undergone and don’t want the same thing to happen to them. NATO-wise, they are also afraid of being dragged into a war they shouldn’t be fighting. You don’t have to look any farther than Iraq to see that maybe they have a point.

I am by no means an Ataka sympathizer. I am pretty secure in my left-wing politics. I simply want to show that maybe Ataka isn’t gaining in popularity because all Bulgarians hate Roma and Turks. Remember, over 60% of voters voted for the BSP candidate, about triple the amount for Ataka. But there is a significant number of Bulgarians who have legitimate complaints about the current status-quo and fears about the future. I suspect that while Parvanov will win the next election on Sunday, the gap between Parnanov and Siderov will be a lot closer. I’d like to hear what other volunteers think, please post a comment.

what happens when people mess with andy's food

I had to eat chicken livers again tonight. Of course I love the family I went to visit and so I said nothing about it, but there is no disappointment quite like when you are expecting a nice, tasty, home-cooked meal and the mother brings out chicken livers. It’s kinda like finding out there is no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, and that the Tooth Fairy isn’t some philanthropic fairy do-gooder but just your parents getting rid of spare change. Maybe I exaggerate, but chicken livers… {shiver}.

On the other hand, I had one of those This-Is-Why-I-Teach moments today. In my fourth grade class we were talking about pets and what they like and what they don’t like. (Aside: Who, I ask WHO?!, decides that “tarantula” is an appropriate word to teach 4th graders? I can barely pronounce it. I thought their little heads were gonna explode.) In the textbook, one of the characters had a parrot. It so happened that a kid in the class who NEVER talks also happened to have a parrot as a pet. And so I asked him questions about the parrot and he just opened up. He even went on to volunteer to answer other questions. I felt great because I saw an opportunity and took it and maybe, just maybe, that kid will think English is cool. That’s my thought at least. At any rate, it felt a lot better than trying to swallow chicken livers without chewing…

* Thanks to Jessica for the picture from our adventures this summer in Veliko Turnovo

"my big fat bulgarian wedding"

I went to a wedding at the end of August in Blagoevgrad. The groom was an ex-neighbor of a colleague of mine. You can see her in the last picture as we were coming back on Sunday morning after a lot of partying and not a lot of sleeping. Two weeks after this wedding I went to my brother's wedding. I got to thinking and thought of a top 10 list of differences between this Bulgarian wedding and Nathan's... And being competive, I thought I would keep points...
Who throws a better wedding, Bulgaria or America?
10. America: Bride wears white.
Bulgaria: Bride wears gray.
America:1
9. America: Gifts are put on a table by the entrance.
Bulgaria: Groom, bride, best man and maid of honor come to each table looking for money.
America: 1
8. America: Wedding in church, then party.
Bulgaria: Wedding in city hall, then the church, then the party.
Bulgaria: 1
7. America: No crowns...
Bulgaria: Crowns!
Bulgaria: 1
6. America: No horo
Bulgaria: Horo.
Bulgaria: 1
5. America: Bride didn't smoke.
Bulgaria: Bride smoked like a chimney.
America: 1
4. America: No one threw anything.
Bulgaria: Bouqet AND garter throwing!
Bulgaria:2
3. America: Everyone gets pimped out.
Bulgaria: Bride gets pimped out.
America: 1
2. America: Groom carried bride into party tent so she wouldn't have to step in any puddles.
Bulgaria: No carrying...except the big bag of extorted money.
America: 2
1. America: Best best man speech in the world!
Bulgaria: Some random dude gave a speech... and it was all in Bulgarian!
America: 10!

Final Score:
America: 16
Bulgaria: 5

Sorry, Bulgaria. I still had a good time. Enjoy the pictures!

what does a rpcv and the pope have in common?

I had the opportunity to meet with a former Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV) here in Bulgaria a couple of days ago. There were several current volunteers and this RPCV. We got dinner and I really enjoyed this person's company. S/he was intelligent, thoughtful and everything that I expected in a RPCV. S/he now lives in America and has a good DC job with a think tank. S/he was a volunteer near Bobov dol and everyone I've met who has known s/he has had only wonderful things to say about her/him.

One thing s/he said, however, has been nagging at the back of my mind since s/he said it. We were talking about our SPA projects and s/he laughed and said how strange it was to hear current vounteers stuck "in the Peace Corps bubble." S/he went on to say that once you leave Peace Corps and go back to America you realize how your time here was simply time in a little bubble and it was all for naught. S/he seemed to be saying that you shouldn't worry about whether you are being a good volunteer because it won't really matter once you leave country.

What a sad, cynical thing to say. I have had a hard time lately dealing with people's cynicism lately. I am currently reading a book by Pope John Paul II called "Crossing the Threshold of Hope" (a great book by the way...) and he touched on the same idea. He says in a chapter on youth that something in us has changed. Previous generations had an idealism. They dreamed of better things. They experienced a world that was full of strife and pain. They had to fight for a better world. We are the first generation who have not had to fight for what we have. We have all had a pretty good life, comparatively. All of us Western young people were born into a world free from wars. Our great grandparents had WWI. Our grandparents had WWII. Our parents had Vietnam. But us, we've had what? Desert Storm? Iraqi Freedom. Yea, they're "wars" but how much do they really touch our lives, how much do they make us struggle?

Pope John Paul II says that as youth, we still have that fundamental idealism, "even if nowadays it tends to be expressed mostly in the form of criticism, whereas before it would have been translated into duty." I think the Pope hit the nail right on the head (no pun intended...). Here we are, a generation, like all young people, who are born for glory, born to go out and make the world better, born to do our duty as world changers and we encounter a world that's "not so bad." So what do we do? We sit around and criticize and become cynical. We think there is nothing to drive us, no battles to fight and so we tear apart, piece by piece, what exists. We forget that what we have has been paid for us, by the blood, sweat and tears of countless generations before us.

I think this RPCV is a victim of this generational tendency. It is so common for us to sit around and be cynical that we don't see the value in duty. We feel that the easy life has always been around and that we don't owe anyone anything. We don't feel the attraction of living a life of duty. What is wrong with being in a Peace Corps bubble for two years? What is wrong with spending two years exhausting yourself in the idealistic pursuit of "Changing this World?" What is wrong with fighting for progress, a better world? I don't want to pick on this RPCV; s/he did a great job while s/he was here. S/he just happened to make a comment that crystallized all these feelings I've had lately. The problem is more widespread than her/him.

We all need to stand up and see what is going on here. Our innate desire for glory, duty, our fundamental idealism has sat on the shelf too long and turned into a gooey, smelly, raunchy Cynicism. We are afraid to launch into a quest, a life lived for something bigger than us. I say let us relish this bubble! Let us enjoy this amazing chance we have to live in a bubble and work our asses off for something that is hard, at times depressing and for something we may never see the results of. Let us go into that fight and come back bloodied, sweaty and crying. For we can never know how wonderful we can make this world and ourselves until we push ourselves past our breaking point. Thank you RPCV for reminding me of what is inside me and all of us, just waiting to come out and kick some ass...

a new year in san quentin

I started a new school year today in the prison here in balmy Bobov dol. I thought I would continue teaching the prisoners I had from last year. I went in all prepared for a lesson with them, I had my Jeopardy! game ready with a “what-did-Andy-do-this-summer” theme. It was awesome. But when I got to the prison, I learned that the administration decided I should get a whole new class. With 19 students. Who know no English. Needless to say, I didn’t use the Jeopardy! game.
It’s like when the new Saved by the Bell cast came on TV. I think it was “Saved by the Bell: The New Class” or something like that, and it was ok, but it was not as good as the original. The weirdest thing was that they tried to do some weird clone-like characters from the original cast. You had the quasi-Zach, and the quasi-Slatter, and the quasi-Kelly but they weren’t the same. They weren’t quite able to touch us in the same way as the original. Walking into that class today was like that. It seemed like a class of weird clones from last year, only these guys were twice the size and had more tattoos. There is the long haired, Italian looking guy who has the I-Don’t-Care exterior hiding the I-Really-Do interior. Then there is the old guy, seemingly content with the world, smiling like a big old medicated sun, in the back. The overachiever in the front, who always answers first. And the big guy in the middle who translates my Bulgarian from Bulgarian to Bulgarian to the rest of the class. But something is missing.
It’s strange to say I really miss those guys from last year. I’m excited by this new opportunity to teach a whole new set of guys, but still I miss the sense of camaraderie that we had last year. Part of me knows that this will return, I will make these guys friends too, but I still miss those wild and crazy guys.

reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated

I’m alive. I’m still in Bulgaria. I’m not dead. I’m sorry that I have been so delinquent on keeping up with my posts but I’ve been busy. And right now I’m sick. Well, right now I’m recovering but I was sick enough to miss school yesterday and today. It’s been hard for me to do this. Even harder to do no work.

So what’s new with me? Well, my brother got married on September 9th, to a wonderful girl named Meghan. I went home for two weeks as I was the Best Man and of course I couldn’t miss my brother’s wedding. The wedding was a great time, it was in the beautiful little Northern towns of Landaff and Franconia, New Hampshire.

School has also began again. This year I’m teaching 6th, 7th, 10th, 11th and 12th grades. I’m excited for this year because my classes this year are more motivated and have a better grasp on English than some of my classes last year. I will also begin teaching at the prison again on Thursday. The other day I had a hard day at school and actually found myself wishing that I had a class that night at the prison. Even though it is extra work, my classes there tend to relax me and make me feel as if I am making a difference.

I wrote a short essay last night at the request of my program manager that I thought I would share here. It sort of sums up my first year and a half here. Hope you enjoy:
I am sitting here in my apartment, which is unusual for a Monday afternoon, but I am sick. It seems like whenever the seasons change, I get some kind of cough or throat problem. But I think this is good because it gives me a chance to reflect on my year and a half as a TEFL volunteer in Bulgaria. Unfortunately, no simple one word descriptions come to mind; my time here has been full of great highs and lows. But somehow, despite the cold winters, the hard times teaching and learning to make do with little, I remember the good things more clearly.

I remember the look on my 11th grade students last year when they finally understood the Future Perfect Progressive tense. I remember my 12th graders putting all of their end-of-the-year effort into making posters describing the “8 Steps to Success,” which this year will be hung up in our new multimedia room. I remember prisoners, to whom I teach English, being able to hold conversations, in English, with visitors. And I remember the many holidays, birthdays and outings with friends I have made here. But the happiest memory I have came just last night.

My 8th grade class last year was a real struggle for me. There were numerous problems with discipline, motivation and respect. Added to this, for the first semester I was in the classroom by myself. In particular, one boy really got on my nerves. He yelled in class, never did his homework and the only words he knew in English were swears. I tried to work hard with him, like all the students. By the end of the year, much to my shock, he was doing homework, sitting in the front of class, and actually chastising other students for their poor behavior. This year he has moved to a technical school and he told me that his class is divided into a slower class and more advanced for English. He told me with a smile that he was in the advanced class.

I joined the Peace Corps in part because of the commercials that used to say: “Peace Corps: The toughest job you’ll ever love.” Those commercials have fallen out of usage as of late, but I think they are part of the most powerful and honest advertising campaign I have ever seen. Is the Peace Corps hard? Oh man, is it. Will it challenge you and sometimes beat you down? Of course. But will you always remember these times and will it make a difference in your life and others? Yes. And will your time in country mean something?  Without a doubt.