“i've got to, that's the whole thing.” -will kane

One of my favorite movies of all time is High Noon. I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not, but you should. Even if you don’t like Westerns it is such an important movie to see. Of course there is the underlying anti-democracy in the movie that got the writer black-balled during the 1950s but besides that it is a great example of a person standing up and doing what needs to be done. The main character, Marshall Will Kane, is getting married when the movie opens. He has just retired from being the local sheriff and plans to move far away. As the ceremony ends, he gets news that a dreaded cowboy gang that he previously kicked out of town is coming back to take over the town when he leaves. As much as he tries to rally the town to fight them, everyone has an excuse why he can’t fight. So at the end of the movie, he goes out to face the gang alone, with only his trusty six shooter to help him.

I love this movie because Will Kane “does what a man has to do.” Even though he will probably end up getting killed for it, he does what is the right thing. Alone. And I think that is what draws many people to the movie. I think all too often we believe we are in this alone. It is me versus the marauding gang; me versus the competition; me versus the world. We need movies like High Noon to motivate us and wanna go out there and kick some ass. Alone.

Why? Because it is so unnatural. We are not meant to go out into this world and “do it alone.” Of course, there are times when we need to stand up and do what is right, even if the popular consensus is against us. That is a given. But we must also not shut ourselves off in our drive, quest to do what is right. We are human beings, Homo sapiens. We are naked, clawless, fangless, weak animals. If we had been a non-communal species out on the savannah, we would have been a tiny blip in the history of the world. The first proto-lion would have torn us apart and the world would now be ruled by cockroaches. In addition to our brains, our ability to organize and band together allowed us to move from a second rate hunter on the savannah to the biggest kid on the block, er, world.

I am all too often guilty of this. I never ask for help because I don’t want to trouble anyone. I don’t want to be seen as weak. I ant all the glory for myself. The list goes on… But days like today make me remember we can’t live like this. I had a crappy day at school. I had to give two periods of oral exams to my sixth graders and had to listen to such nonsense as this: “What time is it? (pointing to the clock)” “My cat!” I had to break up a fight as I walked into my seventh grade class between seventh grade girls and tenth grade boys. Then I had to teach the tenth grade and ended up spending most of the class taking away cell-phones that kept going off. By the end, I had seven. At the end of the day I was actually hoping that one of my seventh graders who was climbing over a fence outside the school would fall on his head.

All I wanted to do was to go home and feel bad about my classes and the fact that my water boiler died last night. But a colleague invited me to lunch. I have a hard time refusing food so I went. And I think that lunch saved my sanity. Just talking with her made me feel better. We talked about what it meant to be a teacher, and especially what it meant to be a teacher in Bobov dol. Part of the reason I was feeling down was because I too often think that I am failing. But I was reminded today that the problem is bigger than me. This colleague teaches math and told me that in the twelfth grade class, she has students who can’t multiply 7 and 5. I know this student and can vouch that he seems like a pretty intelligent, with it guy. I felt better because I learned that I was not in this by myself. Here I am surrounded by a group of colleagues who, day in and day out, slog through the same problems I do. Colleagues who, for the most part, try their hardest to make a difference. And I was reminded that the rewards for this work aren’t measured in days. You don’t know what you accomplish at the end of the day. You don’t know at the end of the year. You don’t know even when the child graduates. Our success is measured in lifetimes. And even if we don’t see our rewards in this lifetime, I have faith and hope that someday, somewhere, I will reap these rewards.

Know what makes me love High Noon even more? Will Kane didn’t do it himself. As much as it is advertised as “one man against the world” in the end his wife stands by his side. No one, not even Will Kane, can do this all by themselves. I’m trying to remember this everyday…