frozen snot

I have no school for the rest of the week because it’s snot-freezing cold here. I wish I could take credit for such an accurate weather description but alas, I heard it from someone in college. For those who have never been lucky enough to experience snot-freezing cold, it’s when you are in a place so cold that the snot in your nose freezes (sure it sounds gross and if you are offended, I’m sorry. But when you think about it, there is actually nothing to be that offended by. Everyone has snot. Some of us more than others, of course, but still everyone has it. And as long as it’s not hanging outta your nose or, God forbid you’re picking it, there’s nothing really to be grossed out by…). It actually makes a good indicator of the current weather. You can measure the severity of the weather by how long it takes to freeze. It’s not as accurate as a thermometer, of course, but who actually carries around a thermometer? One week in college, Hanover was colder then the North Pole. That’s cold. That’s instant snot freeze. But here, in Bobov Dol today, I would give it a three minute snot freeze. Not bad, but still enough for me to wear my “Hey, check it out, it’s a Kenneth Cole! But I bought it second hand at the Peace Corps clothing sale for 2 leva and it couldn’t keep a nuclear reactor warm in the middle of the Death Valley” winter hat, my hood from my trusty 2004 Red Sox Championship Sweatshirt and the hood from The Best Snowboarding Jacket Ever.      
So for the record, a 3 minute snot freeze is cold enough for Bobov Dol to cancel school for the rest of the week. It’s called a “Durvana Vakantsia” which roughly translated means a “wood vacation.” The school can’t stay warm enough to prevent the kids from sticking to exposed metal so they cancel it. Not bad, from my vantage point. Unlike America, the kids don’t have to make this time up at the end of the year. I heard that we teachers will have to come in in the summer and make up the time. But I would much rather sit in the teachers’ room for a couple hours in my man-pris and a T-shirt in June than see my breath while I yell at Ivan for playing with a shard of glass in January. At least it’s too cold for them to blow snot rockets at each other.